Bunny Debunked

This is an old picture of Jacob when he was probably around 5 years old. But it perfectly represents Jacobs face when I told him, the day before Easter that the Easter Bunny is, well, not really a bunny who breaks into peoples houses leaving candy about, but rather a story lovingly told by parents to help make Easter special. And now ..... I'm feeling like a huge jerk. For some reason, I've been worried, very worried about how the whole Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy stories would end. Would they just kind of fizzle out as he aged or would it come to a day of ugly reckoning, a day he would come to know his parents for the big, fat liars they really were? I decided to take matters into my own hands. Although unplanned, when Jacob asked me in the car how the Easter bunny really got into the house to hide treats, I took it as a sign that he was doubting and I went with it. " Well babe, of course a bunny doesn't really break into our house, the Easter bunny is a lovely story that helps us to celebrate Easter ( this is totally illogical)." Well, he wasn't doubting at all. He was 100% seriously asking a question when the crushing blow came. His face told it all, it mostly told me that I was wrong, so wrong to tell him. Or at least that I hadn't found a good way to tell him. He replied, " So, you and dad are really the Easter bunny? It's a lie?" Stabbing pain to my heart aside I tried all kinds of ways to soften the blow and eventually came to one that seemed to help. Each boy would hide one anothers candy the night before and we'd start a new tradition and wouldn't that be fun? Wouldn't it? Appeased, Jacob seemed to move on to the next topic but if I know anything about this boy it's that he'll be secretly thinking about this conversation for days, mostly at night during our little chats and I'd have to relive my fatal mistake over and over again.

And then it happened, logic kicked in and one thing led to another one evening during our fireside chat ( no fire but lots of chatting). " Mom, are you Santa too?" Think fast mom. And then it hit me, the thing I feared for him, the hurt, the feeling of betrayal, had already happened ... and I brought it on myself! Now, I don't usually learn from my mistakes. This is a widely know fact. But this time I surprized myself. My response: " All Santa needs is someone to believe in him. Isn't it nice to think about Santa?" This was all he needed. A life line. " I still think Santa is real then mom." So we both felt better. I didn't technically lie and Jacob got to still keep the magical lights burning bright. Sigh. It's hard making mistakes with the kids. The guilt lingers longer and harder. I know that the question of the Easter bunny is rather trifling, he'll get over this one unscathed to be sure. But I was trying to protect him from the harsh reality layed out by someone else carelessly one day, and I ended up hurting him myself. The line between protecting and preparing them for real life is so hard to navigate, and it gets harder every year, not easier. I didn't see it coming.